A Story About Hormones & Hope: My Husband’s Journey

*Names have been changed to protect individuals' privacy.

When My Husband Wasn’t Himself

This might not be the story you'd expect, but it's one many women will understand. How often do men openly talk about what's bothering them—especially regarding their health? For most, the idea of discussing hormones or facing the fact that something might be wrong is downright terrifying. Like many men, my husband Roberto* avoided the doctor and shrugged off concerns. But eventually, we reached a breaking point.

The man I knew and loved wasn’t himself anymore, and it was affecting our whole family.

Raising a newborn is exhausting for anyone, but we managed. Sleepless nights, irregular routines—we survived it all. But just after our child’s first birthday, when we finally found a semblance of routine, something changed. Roberto, who was always active and engaged, became increasingly sluggish. He complained about being tired constantly, even though we were both finally getting regular sleep. It wasn’t just fatigue—he was dragging himself through the day, yawning at work, and even buying sleep trackers, hoping for answers.

He tried going to bed earlier and starting exercising again, but nothing helped. He got so tired that he came home early from work, nodding off mid-day. That's when the wife guilt kicked in. I became a nag. I had to—suddenly, all the household chores fell to me.

I took out the trash, cleaned the house, and put our child to bed. If the baby cried at night, I always got up. It felt like I was carrying the entire weight of our family while Roberto, the man I depended on, was slipping away. To make things worse, he was getting sick—constantly. Every other weekend, it seemed like I was taking care of a sick child and a sick husband.

It wasn't just tough. It was exhausting, and I was burning out.

Then, one day, something shifted. Roberto finally confided in a close friend about his feelings. His friend listened and suggested something we hadn’t even considered—getting his testosterone levels checked.

When Roberto went to the doctor, the results were shocking. His levels had plummeted over the past year and a half.

No wonder he felt the way he did! The doctor explained that these low levels explained his tiredness, constant illnesses, and sluggishness.

And here's what makes me so proud: Roberto decided to take control of his health.

He began self-administering testosterone shots and taking supplements to balance his estrogen levels. Slowly but surely, I saw my husband return.

He became more active, engaged with our child, and started pulling his weight again around the house.

I felt relief and pride in his steps to get back on track. Not all men do that—many would continue down that same path, stuck in a cycle of denial.

I wish I could say I’d been the one to put him on the right path, but in reality, his willingness to face the truth saved us.

I was just the nagging wife, frustrated and tired, not understanding that something deeper was happening.

I share this story because I know other women are in the same predicament. It’s easy to assume your husband is lazy or uninterested, but sometimes, a more significant issue is at play. If you notice a change, don’t be afraid to push him—nag him, if you have to—about seeing a doctor. It made a world of difference for us, and I couldn't be more thankful for the renewed strength and energy it’s brought back into our relationship.

So, if something feels off, trust your instincts. Sometimes, the answer is as simple as a check-up.