Someone Was Unkind to Me...
Incivility – a silent threat, often manifested in subtle snubs, condescending remarks, or passive-aggressive behavior, a subtle yet pervasive issue, is taking a significant toll on employee engagement and patient experience. The impact it has on a company as a whole is astounding. From decreased employee engagement, to diminished patient experience, and ultimately the financial implications such as increased turnover, decreased productivity, higher healthcare costs associated with stress-related illnesses, an increase in the use of sick-days – all can significantly impact an organization bottom line.
A study by the Workplace Bullying Institute in 2017 revealed a staggering statistic: 98% of healthcare workers reported experiencing incivility, with 19% encountering it daily. Such widespread exposure to unkindness can lead to a host of negative outcomes. According to a 2022 survey, 76% of workers experience incivility at least once a month, and 78% witness it at least once a month. According to Carnegie Mellon University’s Binyamin Cooper and colleagues (2022), rudeness constitutes a “low-intensity negative behavior that violates norms of civility” that can interfere with a person’s ability to get work done.
Building a Culture of Kindness: Why People Are Rude and Unkind (and Why It’s Not About You)
Try and hold the belief that people are inherently good, and only do bad things in reaction to bad situations. Being unkind, more often than not, is a reaction to anger with ourselves or our perceived inadequacy. When you find that people are being rude to you in your everyday life, they are really being mean to themselves. They have likely convinced themselves that they are unworthy, and that is the biggest tragedy of all. You don’t have to tolerate it when others are not nice, but it’s not something to take personally. You don’t have to internalize the meanness as a fault of your own. You can simply recognize that the person being rude is struggling with their own problems and needs a way to cope with them. You cannot control the actions and behaviors of others, only your personal reactions to them. “How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” ~Paulo Coelho
If you yourself are the one who has been unkind, it is time for self-reflection. Why do you attack people? What are you trying to protect yourself from? The important thing to remember, whether you are receiving or giving unkindness, is that you are inherently good, too, and you MATTER, no matter what you or someone else tells you.
By taking proactive steps to foster a positive and supportive work environment, healthcare organizations can improve employee engagement, enhance patient experience, and ultimately deliver high-quality care.
“Whether you’re a CEO, a team leader, or a person from any walk of life trying to make a difference, you’re going to be judged for the little moments, so please make the most of them. In every interaction, you have a choice. Do you want to lift people up or hold them down? Who do you want to be?”
— Christine Porath