Good Grief: Why Grief is a Good Thing
WRITTEN BY: JOE NESTER
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” – C.S. Lewis.
Grief is “Emotional pain, generally arising from misfortune, significant personal loss, bereavement, misconduct of oneself or others; sorrow, sadness.” Definitions, however, cannot adequately describe the effects a person feels when living day to day under heavy grief. Grief is most often associated with a person’s impending death, the death of a partner or family member, however, it can also show up in the losses of relationships, independence, careers, and other major life events.
It is generally accepted that there are five stages of grief, also known as the Kübler-Ross model. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist, introduced the five stages in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.” The stages being– denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – were initially described as a framework to understand the emotional responses of terminally ill patients facing their death. Over time, the model was adapted to represent the grieving process in response to other types of loss.
Suffering from grief is difficult enough, but the risk of developing or worsening other health problems is the real threat. Stress associated with grief can lower your immune system, making sufferers more prone to illnesses. Grief has also been linked to increased blood pressure, irregular heartbeats, and a higher risk of heart attacks. Grief can exacerbate existing chronic pain conditions like migraines, back pain, and muscle tension. Some people become overwhelmed and turn to alcohol and drugs to numb their pain, which can lead to addiction and other complications.
If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. “Your Health” has Licensed Master Social Workers (LMSW) who function as providers within their Psychotherapy Specialty, supporting patients experiencing depression, anxiety, complicated grief, and other mental disorders recognized by mental health professionals.
Grieving does not conform to a specific timeline. People will grieve at their own pace, so give yourself time to mourn; healing is gradual. Try to establish a daily structure that gives you a sense of stability. Regular meals, walks, or exercise can provide a small comfort level. A grieving person will often experience a wide range of emotions, sometimes all at once; it is essential to remember there will be good and bad days throughout the process.
Grief, as painful as it is, serves a vital purpose in the healing process. It is a natural and necessary response to loss, helping us to process our emotions and gradually come to terms with a new reality. While it can feel overwhelming and isolating, grief allows us to reflect on what has been lost and to honor its significance in our lives. By working through grief, we build resilience, gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, and ultimately find a path forward. Embracing grief, rather than avoiding it, is essential for emotional recovery and personal growth, reminding us that feeling deeply is part of what it means to be human.